Knotty Musings

Ideas, philosophies, and evil plots to take over the world through love hatched here.


I Am Enough

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people
won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically
liberates others." ~ Marianne Williamson


Remove the Nots

Remove the Nots

Monday, February 20, 2012

Up To The Mountain

"Up To the Mountain"

A little something I recorded for all of us who struggle at times, whether with loneliness, pain, addictions, depressions, feeling we're not enough, etc. You are loved, you are beautiful, you are worthwhile and you are ENOUGH.


"You are goodness and mercy and compassion and understanding. You are peace and joy and light. You are forgiveness and patience, strength and courage, a helper in time of need, a comforter in time of sorrow, a healer in time of injury, a teacher in times of confusion. You are the deepest wisdom and the highest truth; the greatest peace and the grandest love. You are these things. And in moments of your life you have known yourself as these things. Choose now to know yourself as these things always."
~ Neale Donald Walsch

This life is a hero's journey. Anyone who sticks it out and gives it their best shot is heroic, in my estimation. What we call normal is so often extraordinary. Just overcoming the weight of the world, and making a genuine effort to identify and honor our true-path is profound. Kudos to anyone who is making a genuine effort to get through this life with originality,awareness and authenticity. ~Jeff Brown video

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Be A Voice

Such a gorgeous and poignant song. Share it far and wide. No bystanders.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHGf-UUqnSg

Be A Voice

by Yvonne Goss

1st verse:
There's a painful truth in our world we've got to face.
For too long we've ignored their desperate cry.
Please consider the cost,
another innocense thats lost.
We have to speak for the children and be their voice.

Chorus:
Be A Voice for the ones with no choice.
Forced to live in a world they cannot change.
Be a light in their darkness,
a trusting hand that they can hold.
Be A Voice for God's chidren,
Be A Voice

2nd Verse:
Can you hear the voice of the innocent cryin out,
rescue me from the evil all around me.
And make my world as it should be,
a loving home where I can grow free.
Rescue me, break the silence,
Be my voice

Be A Voice for the ones with no choice.
Forced to live in a world they cannot change.
Be a light in their darkness,
a trusting hand that they can hold.
Be A Voice for God's chidren,
Be A Voice


Tag:
Be A Comfort to the innocent, the pure in heart the meek,
Oh we have to speak the truth, only the truth will set them free,
set them free...

Chorus:

Oh Be A Voice for the ones with no choice.
Forced to live in a world they cannot change.
Be a light in their darkness,
a trusting hand that they can hold.
Be A Voice for God's chidren,
Be A Voice

Be A Voice,
(bring His light into their darkness)
Be A Voice,
(its never too late to make a change)
Be A Voice!


Be A Voice Yvonne Goss

Honor The Children - My Story

I told my story publicly for the 1st time a couple of weeks ago and it was very well received. I am sharing it here with you in the hope that it will help you to be a voice for children and help to break the cycle of generation devastation.

My past has not defined me , destroyed me , deterred me , or defeated me it only has given me strength to carry on another day for I’m just a vessel cant you see my sign” God is still working on me .”



HONOR THE CHILDREN-MY STORY

My name is Paulissa Kipp. I am the face of child sexual abuse. I am 46 going on 6. Stuck in an age of innocence and the beginning of a long nightmare. Beginning when I was 6 years old and continuing for the next 10 years, I was the object of my stepfather’s tainted love.

The first incident occurred the day of my brother’s funeral. I was playing my stereo and crying. I welcomed being comforted since the rest of the adults were comforting my mother. My stepfather began fondling me. My grandfather burst into the room and pulled him away from me. Restraining orders were filed but the court ordered visitations with my mother and stepfather. Every visit brought a new occurrence.

Child sexual abuse causes many cracks in the veneer of the soul. I had nightmares, blamed myself for what happened, sought and needed more male attention, and had a difficult time concentrating in school which resulted in my teacher recommending me for counseling. I suffered seizures and migraines.

As I developed, the attention of the males in my family (with the exception of my grandfather) took on a more sexual nature. I was an affectionate child and an easy target for advances of the inappropriate kind. I was told I was beautiful, which is exactly what a gawky, bookish, pimply pubescent girl wants to hear. I didn’t realize that it was inappropriate. More requests to take me places alone began to roll in. Ice cream outings became sexual advances.


I began trying altering my appearance. I developed unhealthy eating habits in the hope that if I gained weight the attention would stop – it didn’t.

I couldn’t relate to the opposite sex – I acted promiscuous but wasn’t. I was a tease, not please. Developing healthy relationships has been difficult. Vulnerability was not a safe place to be. My learned behavior was that a soft place to fall meant being violated. I gave love and took it away. I projected all of my pain onto healthy relationships and made people who loved me and treated me well into villains the same as those who hurt me in the past. It cost me 3 marriages. I was terrified of having children and the thought that they might be subjected to what I was. I put off trying for children until I was 40 and then it was too late. I am now unable to conceive.

Depression has been a near-constant companion for many years. I am mostly medication free, except for those times when life threatens to engulf me.

We tell our children about stranger danger, but place trust in those who show interest in our children. We are proud of our children and it is only natural to want people to like our children. There are red flags, however:

1. An adult is overly affectionate to your child or touches the child in a more intimate fashion than a hug, pat on the head, etc
2. Pulling a child older or bigger than lap holding age onto the lap
3. Unwanted tickling or wrestling
4. An adult makes repeated requests to take your child places alone or to do sleepovers
5. Your child’s behavior change drastically after spending time with a particular adult
6. Urinary tract infections can be a sign of inappropriate activity
7. Bleeding in the genital areas

If any of the symptoms are present, please take your child to a dr for a physical examination and report the abuse to the authorities. Honor the children.

Healing from child sexual abuse is a slow recovery process. It requires a courage that does not come naturally. It often requires counseling and brutal honesty. It requires forgiveness, but not forgetting. It requires not being a bystander. It requires making a stand and saying “Not on my watch, not my child and not your child. As Charlotte Davis Kasl correctly observes, "Whether or not you have children yourself, you are a parent to the next generation. If we can only stop thinking of children as individual property and think of them as the next generation, then we can realize we all have a role to play."

It requires faith, even when you don’t know if the wound will heal. It requires acknowledging that we are all broken in some way. In the words of Leonard Cohen, “There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets through."

October is Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Awareness Month. When is child abuse awareness month? April . It is represented by a blue ribbon. Yet child abuse awareness needs to be an everyday occurrence. Speak it, think it, and hold it your hearts. We need a different kind of army. An army of the kind.

Charlie Chaplin's Great Dictator Speech

in 1940, when Charlie Chaplin was filming "The Great Dictator", Hitler invaded France. Chaplin changed the ending of the movie and added an out of character speech which now is legendary. It was not a speech by the character, but by Chaplin himself to the world.

You can find video of this speech here: It is quite moving.

I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible; Jew, Gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone, and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in.

Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost. The airplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men; cries out for universal brotherhood; for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women, and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people.

To those who can hear me, I say, do not despair. The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish.

Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you, enslave you; who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel! Who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men - machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines, you are not cattle, you are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts! You don't hate! Only the unloved hate; the unloved and the unnatural. Soldiers! Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of St. Luke, it is written that the kingdom of God is within man, not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people, have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy, let us use that power. Let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfill that promise. They never will! Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people. Now let us fight to fulfill that promise. Let us fight to free the world! To do away with national barriers! To do away with greed, with hate and intolerance! Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness. Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us all unite!

Long Low Road by Paulissa Kipp

OK, this piece did not come consciously as a song. This was truly divine inspiration. I was driving home from visiting a friend and out of nowhere began singing the chorus. So. . .I present to you The Long, Low Road. A gospel spiritual.

LONG, LOW ROAD

Spiritual by Paulissa Kipp

CHORUS:

There’s a long, low road to meet my savior

Long, low road to pre-pare my soul

You keep me cry – ing, keep me sigh-ing

Keep me moving down that long, low road


My heart keeps breaking, trials keep taking

Keep me rolling down that long, low road

Man turns a blind eye to his brother’s cry

Keep on rolling down a long, low road


But grace keeps sav-ing

There’s a constant cra-ving

For love and understanding

On that long, low road

Sing a-men allelujah

Keep me rolling keep me rolling on the long, low road

I keep stumbling but I keep rising

To walk with you on that long, low road

CHORUS:

There’s a long, low road to meet my savior

Long, low road to prepare my soul

You keep me cry – ing, keep me sigh-ing

Keep me moving down that long, low road


Sing amen allelujah

Keep me rolling keep me rolling that down that long, low road

I keep stumbling but I keep rising

To walk with you down that long, low road


We shall never walk alone

cry-ing and sigh-ing

In the si-lence

Down that long, low road

CHORUS:

There’s a long, low road to meet my savior

Long, low road to prepare my soul

You keep me cry – ing, keep me sigh-ing

Keep me moving down that long, low road


Sing amen allelujah

Keep me rolling keep me rolling on that long, low road

I keep stumbling but I keep rising

To walk with you on that long, low road

© 2011 Paulissa Kipp

video

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Walking Wounded

When I was at lunch today, I had the honor of speaking with 2 Vietnam veterans who were sitting at the counter. I thanked them for their service and one of them - George C - told me that he was in the 1st batch of military members who were hit by Agent Orange. He has lived through 6 heart attacks and a recent surgery on his jugular vein. An amazing man who seemed more amazed that I didn't recoil at the sight of his scars. His friend, George C II, was also struck with Agent Orange and has health issues as a result. He said he felt that his biggest scars are the ones no one sees. The mental scars of PTSD and being a prisoner of his own mind at times and having flashbacks while he was driving that the cars were not vehicles, but rather trees in the jungle of Vietnam. He has given up driving.

When we parted, they asked me what I do for work. I told them and then George C asked me what I do for life (for joy). I told him that I am a writer and photographer and said that if I'd had my camera with me, I would have asked to take their photos. I paid for their meals, thanked them again for their service and the conversation and they invited me for coffee next Friday afternoon and told me to bring the camera. They would like their stories told through photos and essays. How amazing is that? Simply because I took an interest. I am so amazed at where these encounters are leading me these days and the way my art helps me to interact with the world around me.

I wrote the following piece as part of my eulogy for a friend, a Vietnam veteran I'd known for 35 of my 45 years who committed suicide to escape his demons.


NONE UNWOUNDED

A soldier died today. Not in combat on some foreign soil but in combat on the battlefield of the mind. A soldier died today. He took his own life. Some will call him a coward.

Whether we agree with the reasons our country is at war or not, the fact still remains that we have people fighting for our right to play Monday morning quarterback over it all. Those who would say that our soldiers are stupid and that's why they're in Iraq, Afghanistan, or anywhere else in the world they're needed are naive.

The soldier who serves our country is not evil, self-serving, or looking for glory. Some were given a choice: the military or jail. Others were drafted, still others joined voluntarily after some heinous act jeopardized the safety of our country and its citizens.

These men and women have seen things in the performance of their duties that most of us haven't even dreamed of in our worst nightmares. Decades after their service, what they did because their country asked them to or because their own life was threatened during combat, still haunts their minds and hearts. Many have never forgiven themselves and believe they can never atone enough for the lives taken, damage caused, and peace of mind taken, even though those lives were of the "enemy". They weep for the loss of humanity.

Even those who did not die, lose limbs, or see comrades die lost something. The years and months away from family, freedoms, and easy going spirits were lost. Innocence was lost. Simply because the pain cannot be readily observed does not negate its existence. José Narosky has said "In war, there are no unwounded soldiers."

It takes people with courage to stand up for the weak, less fortunate, and humanity to allow us our freedoms. The right to raise our families and sleep safely in our beds each night rests on their weary shoulders. Hold them up, thank them, and most of all, honor them.

Paulissa Kipp 2011

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Time Marches On - 9/11 Reflections


This will be the only post to my stream regarding my reflections on the 10th anniversary of 9/11. So many thoughts are going through my mind. I will take my camera out and record the different moods and sights of this day that is like no other in a myriad of ways.

10 Years On
9/11/11
I remember how topaz blue that morning was, the crispness of the air and the smell of fall as I walked that morning. As I returned back home, my neighbor came outside, handed me a cup of coffee and told me that a plane had hit the world trade center. I thought it odd but believed it to be a small plane. We went inside and were visiting when her husband called and said the 2nd tower had been hit. That is when the realization set in that it wasn't an accident. We called our loved ones and turned on the TV and watched in horror at the death and struggle for life wrought by hatred. Crying and numb, we watched. I don't think we even ate the rest of that day. We were too numb to even think about anything but being with other people. It didn't matter whether those other people were friends, family or strangers. We just didn't want to be alone. We heard about the collapse of the towers, Flight 93 and the Pentagon. The waves of nausea, shock and grief washed over us repeatedly like the coming and going of tide.

Then the news came that President Bush was coming to Offutt AFB in Bellevue. A new wave of terror overtook me. It was terrifying to know that Stratcom is a target and that we might be next. I remember walking to the stereo and putting in Anne Murray's "A Little Good News" and playing it repeatedly, wishing there would be some good news. I rocked back and forth in a catatonic state and the tears found a wellspring I didn't know I had.

Our church held a prayer vigil and we sleepwalked our way into the sanctuary and held hands with our friends and neighbors, prayed for the lives lost, for understanding, for love to overcome hate and reminded ourselves that vengeance is not ours.

We gave blood, helped fund first responders and rescue dogs to help and tried to find our way to a better love of one another. We pulled together as a humans, as neighbors, as a country and as part of something bigger than hate.

It seems that each generation has its version of The Day the World Changed - WW I, Pearl Harbor, the assassinations of JFK, RFK and MLK, Vietnam, Kent State, OKC, the 1st WTC bombing, the Cole and 9/11. It seems the fabric gets torn apart so that it can be patched together in a more meaningful fashion.

We lost so much that day: 2977 souls and service and rescue dogs, our sense of security, innocence and freedoms.

Yet we also gained some valuable things: Appreciation for connection, the value of binding together in times of crisis, sorrow and confusion and pride in our country. While I was always glad to be an American, I think I took it for granted before 9/11. After 9/11, my heart swells at the national anthem and the flag waving in the breeze moves me to tears. That day will never be forgotten. For me, it was the day I learned to appreciate my country.

Now, 10 years later our lives are impacted nearly daily by the reactionary nature of the response to the attack. We have readily given up freedom after freedom as 9/11 is invoked as the end-all argument for never-ending regulation, eavesdropping and stripping at the airport. There is no denying the effect of 9/11 on our freedoms but what about upon our hearts? Are we living our lives with joy and fullness, loving our neighbors and striving to foster understanding of one another? My heart answers yes, what about yours?