Knotty Musings
I Am Enough
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people
won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically
liberates others." ~ Marianne Williamson
Remove the Nots
Monday, February 20, 2012
Up To The Mountain
A little something I recorded for all of us who struggle at times, whether with loneliness, pain, addictions, depressions, feeling we're not enough, etc. You are loved, you are beautiful, you are worthwhile and you are ENOUGH.
"You are goodness and mercy and compassion and understanding. You are peace and joy and light. You are forgiveness and patience, strength and courage, a helper in time of need, a comforter in time of sorrow, a healer in time of injury, a teacher in times of confusion. You are the deepest wisdom and the highest truth; the greatest peace and the grandest love. You are these things. And in moments of your life you have known yourself as these things. Choose now to know yourself as these things always."
~ Neale Donald Walsch
This life is a hero's journey. Anyone who sticks it out and gives it their best shot is heroic, in my estimation. What we call normal is so often extraordinary. Just overcoming the weight of the world, and making a genuine effort to identify and honor our true-path is profound. Kudos to anyone who is making a genuine effort to get through this life with originality,awareness and authenticity. ~Jeff Brown
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Be A Voice
http://www.youtube.com/
Be A Voice
1st verse:
There's a painful truth in our world we've got to face.
For too long we've ignored their desperate cry.
Please consider the cost,
another innocense thats lost.
We have to speak for the children and be their voice.
Chorus:
Be A Voice for the ones with no choice.
Forced to live in a world they cannot change.
Be a light in their darkness,
a trusting hand that they can hold.
Be A Voice for God's chidren,
Be A Voice
2nd Verse:
Can you hear the voice of the innocent cryin out,
rescue me from the evil all around me.
And make my world as it should be,
a loving home where I can grow free.
Rescue me, break the silence,
Be my voice
Be A Voice for the ones with no choice.
Forced to live in a world they cannot change.
Be a light in their darkness,
a trusting hand that they can hold.
Be A Voice for God's chidren,
Be A Voice
Tag:
Be A Comfort to the innocent, the pure in heart the meek,
Oh we have to speak the truth, only the truth will set them free,
set them free...
Chorus:
Oh Be A Voice for the ones with no choice.
Forced to live in a world they cannot change.
Be a light in their darkness,
a trusting hand that they can hold.
Be A Voice for God's chidren,
Be A Voice
Be A Voice,
(bring His light into their darkness)
Be A Voice,
(its never too late to make a change)
Be A Voice!
Be A Voice Yvonne Goss
Honor The Children - My Story
My past has not defined me , destroyed me , deterred me , or defeated me it only has given me strength to carry on another day for I’m just a vessel cant you see my sign” God is still working on me .”
HONOR THE CHILDREN-MY STORY
My name is Paulissa Kipp. I am the face of child sexual abuse. I am 46 going on 6. Stuck in an age of innocence and the beginning of a long nightmare. Beginning when I was 6 years old and continuing for the next 10 years, I was the object of my stepfather’s tainted love.
The first incident occurred the day of my brother’s funeral. I was playing my stereo and crying. I welcomed being comforted since the rest of the adults were comforting my mother. My stepfather began fondling me. My grandfather burst into the room and pulled him away from me. Restraining orders were filed but the court ordered visitations with my mother and stepfather. Every visit brought a new occurrence.
Child sexual abuse causes many cracks in the veneer of the soul. I had nightmares, blamed myself for what happened, sought and needed more male attention, and had a difficult time concentrating in school which resulted in my teacher recommending me for counseling. I suffered seizures and migraines.
As I developed, the attention of the males in my family (with the exception of my grandfather) took on a more sexual nature. I was an affectionate child and an easy target for advances of the inappropriate kind. I was told I was beautiful, which is exactly what a gawky, bookish, pimply pubescent girl wants to hear. I didn’t realize that it was inappropriate. More requests to take me places alone began to roll in. Ice cream outings became sexual advances.
I began trying altering my appearance. I developed unhealthy eating habits in the hope that if I gained weight the attention would stop – it didn’t.
I couldn’t relate to the opposite sex – I acted promiscuous but wasn’t. I was a tease, not please. Developing healthy relationships has been difficult. Vulnerability was not a safe place to be. My learned behavior was that a soft place to fall meant being violated. I gave love and took it away. I projected all of my pain onto healthy relationships and made people who loved me and treated me well into villains the same as those who hurt me in the past. It cost me 3 marriages. I was terrified of having children and the thought that they might be subjected to what I was. I put off trying for children until I was 40 and then it was too late. I am now unable to conceive.
Depression has been a near-constant companion for many years. I am mostly medication free, except for those times when life threatens to engulf me.
We tell our children about stranger danger, but place trust in those who show interest in our children. We are proud of our children and it is only natural to want people to like our children. There are red flags, however:
1. An adult is overly affectionate to your child or touches the child in a more intimate fashion than a hug, pat on the head, etc
2. Pulling a child older or bigger than lap holding age onto the lap
3. Unwanted tickling or wrestling
4. An adult makes repeated requests to take your child places alone or to do sleepovers
5. Your child’s behavior change drastically after spending time with a particular adult
6. Urinary tract infections can be a sign of inappropriate activity
7. Bleeding in the genital areas
If any of the symptoms are present, please take your child to a dr for a physical examination and report the abuse to the authorities. Honor the children.
Healing from child sexual abuse is a slow recovery process. It requires a courage that does not come naturally. It often requires counseling and brutal honesty. It requires forgiveness, but not forgetting. It requires not being a bystander. It requires making a stand and saying “Not on my watch, not my child and not your child. As Charlotte Davis Kasl correctly observes, "Whether or not you have children yourself, you are a parent to the next generation. If we can only stop thinking of children as individual property and think of them as the next generation, then we can realize we all have a role to play."
It requires faith, even when you don’t know if the wound will heal. It requires acknowledging that we are all broken in some way. In the words of Leonard Cohen, “There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets through."
October is Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Awareness Month. When is child abuse awareness month? April . It is represented by a blue ribbon. Yet child abuse awareness needs to be an everyday occurrence. Speak it, think it, and hold it your hearts. We need a different kind of army. An army of the kind.
Charlie Chaplin's Great Dictator Speech
You can find video of this speech here: It is quite moving.
I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible; Jew, Gentile, black man, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone, and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in.
Long Low Road by Paulissa Kipp
LONG, LOW ROAD
Spiritual by Paulissa Kipp
CHORUS:
There’s a long, low road to meet my savior
Long, low road to pre-pare my soul
You keep me cry – ing, keep me sigh-ing
Keep me moving down that long, low road
My heart keeps breaking, trials keep taking
Keep me rolling down that long, low road
Man turns a blind eye to his brother’s cry
Keep on rolling down a long, low road
But grace keeps sav-ing
There’s a constant cra-ving
For love and understanding
On that long, low road
Sing a-men allelujah
Keep me rolling keep me rolling on the long, low road
I keep stumbling but I keep rising
To walk with you on that long, low road
CHORUS:
There’s a long, low road to meet my savior
Long, low road to prepare my soul
You keep me cry – ing, keep me sigh-ing
Keep me moving down that long, low road
Sing amen allelujah
Keep me rolling keep me rolling that down that long, low road
I keep stumbling but I keep rising
To walk with you down that long, low road
We shall never walk alone
cry-ing and sigh-ing
In the si-lence
Down that long, low road
CHORUS:
There’s a long, low road to meet my savior
Long, low road to prepare my soul
You keep me cry – ing, keep me sigh-ing
Keep me moving down that long, low road
Sing amen allelujah
Keep me rolling keep me rolling on that long, low road
I keep stumbling but I keep rising
To walk with you on that long, low road
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Walking Wounded
When we parted, they asked me what I do for work. I told them and then George C asked me what I do for life (for joy). I told him that I am a writer and photographer and said that if I'd had my camera with me, I would have asked to take their photos. I paid for their meals, thanked them again for their service and the conversation and they invited me for coffee next Friday afternoon and told me to bring the camera. They would like their stories told through photos and essays. How amazing is that? Simply because I took an interest. I am so amazed at where these encounters are leading me these days and the way my art helps me to interact with the world around me.
I wrote the following piece as part of my eulogy for a friend, a Vietnam veteran I'd known for 35 of my 45 years who committed suicide to escape his demons.
NONE UNWOUNDED
A soldier died today. Not in combat on some foreign soil but in combat on the battlefield of the mind. A soldier died today. He took his own life. Some will call him a coward.
Whether we agree with the reasons our country is at war or not, the fact still remains that we have people fighting for our right to play Monday morning quarterback over it all. Those who would say that our soldiers are stupid and that's why they're in Iraq, Afghanistan, or anywhere else in the world they're needed are naive.
The soldier who serves our country is not evil, self-serving, or looking for glory. Some were given a choice: the military or jail. Others were drafted, still others joined voluntarily after some heinous act jeopardized the safety of our country and its citizens.
These men and women have seen things in the performance of their duties that most of us haven't even dreamed of in our worst nightmares. Decades after their service, what they did because their country asked them to or because their own life was threatened during combat, still haunts their minds and hearts. Many have never forgiven themselves and believe they can never atone enough for the lives taken, damage caused, and peace of mind taken, even though those lives were of the "enemy". They weep for the loss of humanity.
Even those who did not die, lose limbs, or see comrades die lost something. The years and months away from family, freedoms, and easy going spirits were lost. Innocence was lost. Simply because the pain cannot be readily observed does not negate its existence. José Narosky has said "In war, there are no unwounded soldiers."
It takes people with courage to stand up for the weak, less fortunate, and humanity to allow us our freedoms. The right to raise our families and sleep safely in our beds each night rests on their weary shoulders. Hold them up, thank them, and most of all, honor them.
Paulissa Kipp 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Time Marches On - 9/11 Reflections
This will be the only post to my stream regarding my reflections on the 10th anniversary of 9/11. So many thoughts are going through my mind. I will take my camera out and record the different moods and sights of this day that is like no other in a myriad of ways.
10 Years On
9/11/11
I remember how topaz blue that morning was, the crispness of the air and the smell of fall as I walked that morning. As I returned back home, my neighbor came outside, handed me a cup of coffee and told me that a plane had hit the world trade center. I thought it odd but believed it to be a small plane. We went inside and were visiting when her husband called and said the 2nd tower had been hit. That is when the realization set in that it wasn't an accident. We called our loved ones and turned on the TV and watched in horror at the death and struggle for life wrought by hatred. Crying and numb, we watched. I don't think we even ate the rest of that day. We were too numb to even think about anything but being with other people. It didn't matter whether those other people were friends, family or strangers. We just didn't want to be alone. We heard about the collapse of the towers, Flight 93 and the Pentagon. The waves of nausea, shock and grief washed over us repeatedly like the coming and going of tide.
Then the news came that President Bush was coming to Offutt AFB in Bellevue. A new wave of terror overtook me. It was terrifying to know that Stratcom is a target and that we might be next. I remember walking to the stereo and putting in Anne Murray's "A Little Good News" and playing it repeatedly, wishing there would be some good news. I rocked back and forth in a catatonic state and the tears found a wellspring I didn't know I had.
Our church held a prayer vigil and we sleepwalked our way into the sanctuary and held hands with our friends and neighbors, prayed for the lives lost, for understanding, for love to overcome hate and reminded ourselves that vengeance is not ours.
We gave blood, helped fund first responders and rescue dogs to help and tried to find our way to a better love of one another. We pulled together as a humans, as neighbors, as a country and as part of something bigger than hate.
It seems that each generation has its version of The Day the World Changed - WW I, Pearl Harbor, the assassinations of JFK, RFK and MLK, Vietnam, Kent State, OKC, the 1st WTC bombing, the Cole and 9/11. It seems the fabric gets torn apart so that it can be patched together in a more meaningful fashion.
We lost so much that day: 2977 souls and service and rescue dogs, our sense of security, innocence and freedoms.
Yet we also gained some valuable things: Appreciation for connection, the value of binding together in times of crisis, sorrow and confusion and pride in our country. While I was always glad to be an American, I think I took it for granted before 9/11. After 9/11, my heart swells at the national anthem and the flag waving in the breeze moves me to tears. That day will never be forgotten. For me, it was the day I learned to appreciate my country.
Now, 10 years later our lives are impacted nearly daily by the reactionary nature of the response to the attack. We have readily given up freedom after freedom as 9/11 is invoked as the end-all argument for never-ending regulation, eavesdropping and stripping at the airport. There is no denying the effect of 9/11 on our freedoms but what about upon our hearts? Are we living our lives with joy and fullness, loving our neighbors and striving to foster understanding of one another? My heart answers yes, what about yours?