Walking Wounded

When I was at lunch today, I had the honor of speaking with 2 Vietnam veterans who were sitting at the counter. I thanked them for their service and one of them - George C - told me that he was in the 1st batch of military members who were hit by Agent Orange. He has lived through 6 heart attacks and a recent surgery on his jugular vein. An amazing man who seemed more amazed that I didn't recoil at the sight of his scars. His friend, George C II, was also struck with Agent Orange and has health issues as a result. He said he felt that his biggest scars are the ones no one sees. The mental scars of PTSD and being a prisoner of his own mind at times and having flashbacks while he was driving that the cars were not vehicles, but rather trees in the jungle of Vietnam. He has given up driving.

When we parted, they asked me what I do for work. I told them and then George C asked me what I do for life (for joy). I told him that I am a writer and photographer and said that if I'd had my camera with me, I would have asked to take their photos. I paid for their meals, thanked them again for their service and the conversation and they invited me for coffee next Friday afternoon and told me to bring the camera. They would like their stories told through photos and essays. How amazing is that? Simply because I took an interest. I am so amazed at where these encounters are leading me these days and the way my art helps me to interact with the world around me.

I wrote the following piece as part of my eulogy for a friend, a Vietnam veteran I'd known for 35 of my 45 years who committed suicide to escape his demons.


NONE UNWOUNDED

A soldier died today. Not in combat on some foreign soil but in combat on the battlefield of the mind. A soldier died today. He took his own life. Some will call him a coward.

Whether we agree with the reasons our country is at war or not, the fact still remains that we have people fighting for our right to play Monday morning quarterback over it all. Those who would say that our soldiers are stupid and that's why they're in Iraq, Afghanistan, or anywhere else in the world they're needed are naive.

The soldier who serves our country is not evil, self-serving, or looking for glory. Some were given a choice: the military or jail. Others were drafted, still others joined voluntarily after some heinous act jeopardized the safety of our country and its citizens.

These men and women have seen things in the performance of their duties that most of us haven't even dreamed of in our worst nightmares. Decades after their service, what they did because their country asked them to or because their own life was threatened during combat, still haunts their minds and hearts. Many have never forgiven themselves and believe they can never atone enough for the lives taken, damage caused, and peace of mind taken, even though those lives were of the "enemy". They weep for the loss of humanity.

Even those who did not die, lose limbs, or see comrades die lost something. The years and months away from family, freedoms, and easy going spirits were lost. Innocence was lost. Simply because the pain cannot be readily observed does not negate its existence. José Narosky has said "In war, there are no unwounded soldiers."

It takes people with courage to stand up for the weak, less fortunate, and humanity to allow us our freedoms. The right to raise our families and sleep safely in our beds each night rests on their weary shoulders. Hold them up, thank them, and most of all, honor them.

Paulissa Kipp 2011

Time Marches On - 9/11 Reflections

This will be the only post to my stream regarding my reflections on the 10th anniversary of 9/11. So many thoughts are going through my mind. I will take my camera out and record the different moods and sights of this day that is like no other in a myriad of ways.

10 Years On
9/11/11
I remember how topaz blue that morning was, the crispness of the air and the smell of fall as I walked that morning. As I returned back home, my neighbor came outside, handed me a cup of coffee and told me that a plane had hit the world trade center. I thought it odd but believed it to be a small plane. We went inside and were visiting when her husband called and said the 2nd tower had been hit. That is when the realization set in that it wasn't an accident. We called our loved ones and turned on the TV and watched in horror at the death and struggle for life wrought by hatred. Crying and numb, we watched. I don't think we even ate the rest of that day. We were too numb to even think about anything but being with other people. It didn't matter whether those other people were friends, family or strangers. We just didn't want to be alone. We heard about the collapse of the towers, Flight 93 and the Pentagon. The waves of nausea, shock and grief washed over us repeatedly like the coming and going of tide.

Then the news came that President Bush was coming to Offutt AFB in Bellevue. A new wave of terror overtook me. It was terrifying to know that Stratcom is a target and that we might be next. I remember walking to the stereo and putting in Anne Murray's "A Little Good News" and playing it repeatedly, wishing there would be some good news. I rocked back and forth in a catatonic state and the tears found a wellspring I didn't know I had.

Our church held a prayer vigil and we sleepwalked our way into the sanctuary and held hands with our friends and neighbors, prayed for the lives lost, for understanding, for love to overcome hate and reminded ourselves that vengeance is not ours.

We gave blood, helped fund first responders and rescue dogs to help and tried to find our way to a better love of one another. We pulled together as a humans, as neighbors, as a country and as part of something bigger than hate.

It seems that each generation has its version of The Day the World Changed - WW I, Pearl Harbor, the assassinations of JFK, RFK and MLK, Vietnam, Kent State, OKC, the 1st WTC bombing, the Cole and 9/11. It seems the fabric gets torn apart so that it can be patched together in a more meaningful fashion.

We lost so much that day: 2977 souls and service and rescue dogs, our sense of security, innocence and freedoms.

Yet we also gained some valuable things: Appreciation for connection, the value of binding together in times of crisis, sorrow and confusion and pride in our country. While I was always glad to be an American, I think I took it for granted before 9/11. After 9/11, my heart swells at the national anthem and the flag waving in the breeze moves me to tears. That day will never be forgotten. For me, it was the day I learned to appreciate my country.

Now, 10 years later our lives are impacted nearly daily by the reactionary nature of the response to the attack. We have readily given up freedom after freedom as 9/11 is invoked as the end-all argument for never-ending regulation, eavesdropping and stripping at the airport. There is no denying the effect of 9/11 on our freedoms but what about upon our hearts? Are we living our lives with joy and fullness, loving our neighbors and striving to foster understanding of one another? My heart answers yes, what about yours?

Loving Ourselves and Stopping the Hate

Our society needs a little less hate, and a little more love.

The news needs a little less negativity, and many more smiles.

We should start to slow down, and stop rushing.

We need to remember to take deep breaths, instead of jumping to conclusions.

We need to love ourselves, and stop the hate.

http://indecisivewar.tumblr.com/ :)

Prayer

Dear God,
I don't know about the challenges my Friends are facing,
But You know everything........
I hear their silence,
You hear their plead.............
I see their laughter,
You see their tears.............
I see what they receive,
You see what they sacrifice.............
I see their happy faces,
You see their scarred souls.........
I know their faith,
You know their doubts............
I know about their dreams,
You know about their fears........
Today, I pray to You to give them everything they need & bless them for all times to come...
Amen

Haruki Murakami

"... once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in." — Haruki Murakami

Preventing Bed Bugs

Passing this along since bedbugs seem to be everywhere these days:

I received this from a friend who deals with situations that put her and her significant at risk of catching them more than most people. Here is what she shared:

I travel alot for work and my boyfriend works in hotels. We talk a lot of preventive measures. I spray down my luggage and shoes with a pesticide everytime I travel. I ask the hotel if they have had bed bug breakouts in the last year. I ...thoroughly inspect my room before I use it. I store my bag on the vanity in the bathroom. Upon returning home all clothing and bags are loaded in a hot dryer for 30+mins (120 deg will kill them). We also have bed encasements and keep treatments on hand at home. I spray down movie theater seats before using them too and keep my purse on my lap. I buy clothes on-line and avoid the stores. Sounds excessive but it can cost a home owner $5000 or more to de-infest their homes and much more to replace their furnishings. Prevention is the best medicine. Take it seriously. Anyone can get them.

I buy on-line from a site I found http://www.domyownpestcontrol.com/bed-bugs-c-39.html. I use products that have Pyrethrin. It is a natural pesticide that comes from Chrysanthimums. I heard about it on Dr. Oz. I have never had bedbugs and I don't plan on getting them, but that is because I have done my homework and take precautions. I keep a 2oz purse size spray bottle of a product called Sterifab in my purse and luggage.

Anyone can get them. I am a bug-a-phobe, so when I first started hearing about this in early 2010, I called a "bug guy" and asked for his opinion. We talked for an hour and he gave me a lot of good advice. Since then, I have come up with my own preventive measures and they seem to be working. Again, both my boyfriend and I are in and out of hotels daily/weeklly for our jobs and in several different states. We need to be prepared.

Not A Former

By the way, I'm a writer, photographer and artist. What are you??

"Not a former..."
Bob Perks

"Once you become, you are."

"Once you attain you never go back"

"Once you cross the finish line, you may
one day cross it again even faster, but
the first time you win, you remain a winner."

"Don't give me any crap!" I heard him say.
I don't ever want to hear you say you are
a former anything!"

It was a conversation God wanted me
to hear. A note I wrote on a piece of
paper..."not a former," has remained
in my wallet for weeks.

I wondered what I was going to do with it
until I crawled up the steps last night after
a long battle in my mind over what and
who I was vs. what and who I wanted to be.

Once you learn to dance you are a dancer,
once you run a race, you are an runner. Once
you learn to climb, you are a climber.

For "becoming" never goes back to wishing it so.

You become a champion and stay a champion.
You are never a former champion in life.

You can take three steps forward and four steps
back, but that does not put you behind. Because
once you go as far as you can you've attained
a new distance mark for the race of your life.

Don't tell me what you can't do. Talk about what
you did and who you are because of it. Even if you
set out to climb the highest mountain in the world
and you only go so far, you can never say you
failed to finish. You went the distance... you climbed
further up the mountain than ever before. That
makes you a mountain climber.

"Today, make a list of your accomplishments,
no matter how big or how small.
You may not be where you want to be,
but it's better than nowhere at all."

By the way...I am an inspirational writer/speaker.

"I wish you enough!"

J

Bob Perks

I encourage you to share my stories but
I do ask that you keep my name and contact
information with my work.

P.O. Box 1702

Shavertown, Pa. 18708

Contact Bob 2believe@comcast.net