Mother's Day Thoughts

Ok gang,


Today is the day that we honor mothers of all types - foster moms, stepmoms, good old moms, mothers-in-law, grandmothers, and those who stepped in and acted as mom when we needed ours and she wasn't around.

I've been considering what really makes a person a mother, biological or otherwise. There is only one word - love. The worry, caring, nurturing, taxi services, counseling, and understanding, and sacrifice can only be described with that word.

My own relationship with my mother was difficult and she was mostly absent from my life but I truly believe that when she had my grandparents raise me, it was a decision born of love. When I think of my mom now that I'm older and can better understand some of the choices made, I'm grateful that she didn't raise me because I don't believe that I would have been the admirable person you know now. My mom was a bit mentally challenged and an alcoholic; she could barely handle herself, much less a child. When my brothers came along, she was in a different place - no longer a single mother, older, presumably wiser. I realize that she was closer to my brothers because it's easier to be closer to those you have custody of. I was remote in her mind. It remained that way until she died. I always wanted a close relationship with a mother figure but eventually came to realize that I could want her to be MOM all I wanted, but she was not capable of that so I just had to settle for being acquaintances.

My grandmother, while not a touchy feely kind of grandma showed love in a myriad of ways: Teaching me to crochet, cook, garden, fostering a love for music and singing in me that carry me to this day. My grandmother was always there: caring, nurturing as best she knew having come from a dysfunctional family herself. She taught me manners, cooking, how to excel and reach goals, a love for beauty, music, flowers, and how to create a sense of home. She WAS home. The thing I needed most, though, she couldn't give: She couldn't tell me that she was proud of me. I so need to hear that the person I am today would have made her proud and there's no one to tell me that. That's the thing that's really getting to me today.

While I'm not a mother myself, I do try to offer guidance and love to underprivileged kids because if I don't, who will? Children need to know they matter and while it is best that their parents let them know, that isn't always possible. So hug a child today and if mom is around, give her a hug too.


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