Knotty Musings

Ideas, philosophies, and evil plots to take over the world through love hatched here.

I Am Enough

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people
won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically
liberates others." ~ Marianne Williamson

Remove the Nots

Remove the Nots

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Coming Up For Air

Hello friends,

I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I promise! I've been grieving and turning a bit introspective in light of all of the events of the past several weeks. I am slowly healing but I really need a break just to restore my batteries and I'm not likely to get that any time soon.

I received a bunch of plants and statuary from my mentor's gardens; his kids thought that I have them since they don't live here. It will be nice to have a living reminder of him because it is so hard to realize that he's gone. I've also been spending time with my best friend's kids and trying to help them since they lost their mother. They are both in their teens which is a hard time but to navigate it without mom and with a father who has a drinking problem is even harder. So I'll do what I can.

School is still kicking my butt and I will be repeating this algebra class, but with a tutor and I'm taking the accelerated which will repeat the algebra concepts all the way from the beginning. I believe that subtle things have escaped me and I don't have a good enough basis for understanding. So. . .hopefully the new approach works. In the meantime, I will continue to go to class and pick up what I can of the concepts. Frustrating, yes, but probably character building as well.

I must admit that I haven't been taking care of myself well during all of this. I have been mostly just existing; the exhaustion is just crushing and I know it's depression and stress causing it so I went to the dr. and now have some meds that are starting to pull me out of it.

I haven't crocheted a stitch in over a month; there just hasn't been any time so I'm glad that the shawl ministry starts meeting again so that I have that time at least.

Things will get better, it's simply taking a while.


  1. I can imagine how hard it is to have to deal with as many things a you have had to as of recent.

    I hope you will remember to take care of your self and put yourself first for awhile. Give yourself time to heal.

    Has your surgery been scheduled yet?

    I am glad that you have those plants, it is nice to have something that will bring back pleasant memories of your friend.

    Take care and don't drive yourself crazy over that algebra. It would certainly be beyond my capabilities.

    Hugs to you

  2. Hello Iris,

    Yes I have had the surgery; I had the surgery the Saturday before Easter and have been on rest except for classes since. I go back to work next week as I have a mediation conference this Thurs. and Friday. It's good to have the fibroid pain gone, now if I get rid of the emotional pain, things would be OK. Some of these things will just take some time.

  3. Looking good. It's always nice to find finds.